FABRIC

by disease garden

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about

Last December I lost weight for the first time. It was an unnerving experience, like I had really lost all hold on my body and it existed as a separate entity from me. I had also lost contact with a few of the people that really anchor me.

It was around that time that I had gotten into knitting and fabric arts. My last partner had gifted me a scarf one day, and I thought it was a sweet gesture at the time, but I didn't realize the gravity it held until I put in the hours myself to return the gift.

I've begun to pay special attention to intimacy through fabrics. The gift of a winter scarf, borrowing leopard print pajamas for a night, sharing blankets watching Super Mario Bros. (1993), falling asleep in the same sweatshirt for days in a row.

and I designed sounds to mimic this medium, all sorts of fuzzy synths woven together into this thick mess.

lyrics

I need my weight here
to hold me
hold me down

I can't calm down, I can't stay still

Come lay on my chest
Keep me
on the ground

I won't stay still

I want my weight back
Just want my weight back

credits

released December 21, 2021
Vocals performed by Eleanor of Synthesizer V
Lyrics, backing vocals, songwriting, production, mixing, mastering by Chloe
Thank you to anyone that's given me the gift of fabric

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about

disease garden Northampton, Massachusetts

i woke up to a wall

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disease garden recommends:

Year Of the Orc EP
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it leaves me completely lost, stumbling in a forest with no floor. hard-hitting, anxiety-inducing, yet somehow very fun to dance to disease garden
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